Porcelain Philosophy
Kant's Categorical Imperative to Replace the Roll
Kant's categorical imperative, applied at last to the person who exhausts the communal roll and departs, yields a perfect duty of replacement.
A Bureau Series
Philosophers in the Bathroom
The canon of Western thought, consulted where it matters.
Porcelain Philosophy
Locke's Theory of Property and the Occupied Stall
Locke's labor theory of property, applied to the occupied stall, resolves at last whether the sitting man owns the enclosure or merely borrows it.
Porcelain Philosophy
Sartre: Hell Is Other People Waiting Outside
Sartre's account of the objectifying gaze finds its purest case in the single-occupancy restroom, where the line outside becomes the Look made architecture.
Porcelain Philosophy
Zeno's Paradox of the Bathroom Line
Zeno's paradoxes of motion, restaged in the bathroom line, expose why the standard calculus consolation fails exactly where the queue-stander needs it most.
Porcelain Philosophy
Plato's Cave, But It's a Porta-Potty
The Allegory of the Cave has always wanted a venue; the festival portable restroom satisfies its every structural demand.