From the Municipal DeskJuly 12, 2026

Time-of-Use Toilet Pricing Begins Monday

Time-of-use pricing begins Monday: the Grid Planning Division prices each flush by the hour it is made, across peak, shoulder, and off-peak rates.

From the series: Advisories & Programs

A municipal tariff placard bearing the seal of the Office of Civic Digestion, showing a three-tier rate table with peak, shoulder, and off-peak bands and a per-flush figure beside each, beneath a banner reading TIME-OF-USE PRICING.

Office of Civic Digestion Grid Planning Division

Tariff No. CD-2026-0482 · Effective Monday, July 13, 2026

Beginning Monday, contributions to the Municipal Fart Grid are priced by the hour at which they are made. Flat-rate flushing ends. The grid has always cost more to serve at dinner than at dawn; from Monday, so will you.

A ruled three-row rate schedule listing peak, shoulder, and off-peak hours against per-flush figures of fourteen, six, and two cents, footnoted with an overnight credit. — Fig. 1 —The schedule as it takes effect Monday. The grid is quiet at 4 a.m. and prices accordingly.

The schedule divides the day into three periods:

Peak — 6:00 to 8:00 p.m., weekdays: 14¢ per flush. This is the evening crest, and the grid charges what it costs to meet it. A flush deferred out of Peak is money kept.
Shoulder — 2:00 to 6:00 p.m. and 8:00 to 11:00 p.m.: 6¢ per flush. The ramp on either side of the crest, priced to move you off it.
Off-Peak — 11:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m.: 2¢ per flush. The grid is quiet and grateful. Contribute here freely.

An overnight incentive applies: contributions logged between 1:00 and 5:00 a.m. earn a half-cent grid-relief credit each, applied to the following statement. The grid rewards the resident willing to keep its hours.

Every household is metered to the minute; the statement will know precisely when you could not wait. You are not being charged to flush. You are being charged to flush at 7 p.m., which the grid has quietly resented for years.