THE SEWER IS NOT A LOST-AND-FOUND

The sewer is not a lost-and-found. What falls to it does not come back. From the Office of Civic Digestion — a report to the American people. At every district interceptor, a steel screen holds back what the city loses. This week: fourteen wedding rings, thirty-one telephones, a passport, a wallet, corn, and peanuts. Each is held thirty days, then rendered to the digester and returned as power. The Office asks only this: do not reach for it. It already serves the home. The full findings are on file at literalshitposts dot com.