PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE GENERATOR

From the Office of Civic Digestion — a report to the American home. In District 7, the neighborhood generator has again been fed Hot Cheetos. This is the third notice, and, the Office hopes, the last. A field technician has been assigned to the intake. He is patient, and he keeps good records. The dye does not clear — Red 40 stains the digestate a shade we now call only "that color," and fouls the Fart Scrubber 3000. The spice destabilizes the load; capsaicin trips the Fecal Load Balancer, and your neighbor's circuits go dark. Your neighbor has filed. The generator is not hungry. It was never hungry. The full findings are on file at literalshitposts dot com. Approved inputs only.