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From the Municipal Desk

Thank You for Participating in Demand Defecation

The Office of Civic Digestion closes out Thursday's declared event, releases seated priority, and confirms that participation has been recorded for each contributor of record.

A municipal certificate of thanks bearing the seal of the Office of Civic Digestion, a laurel wreath encircling the silhouette of a seated contributor, with a ribbon seal at the lower corner, beneath a banner reading THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING.

Office of Civic Digestion Demand Response Division

Notice No. CD-2026-0455 · Effective July 4, 2026

The Office thanks residents for their participation in Thursday's Demand Defecation event. Peak demand was declared at 6:14 a.m. and cleared by 9:02 a.m. Across that window the Municipal Fart Grid held within its band, seated priority was honored, and the district met its call. This was your doing. It has been recorded as such.

Residents are directed to observe the following:

  1. Accept the certificate. Each enrolled contributor of record will receive a Certificate of Participation. It is suitable for framing and, at the Office's discretion, for audit. Retain it.

  2. Stand down. The event has ended and priority has returned to the general schedule. Residents who continued to yield after the all-clear are thanked for their enthusiasm and reminded that the grid cannot bank what it did not call for.

  3. Note your standing. Households that did not contribute during the window remain in good standing. Their standing is simply noted.

  4. Display encouraged. Contributors wishing to signify their participation may post the recruitment original — Poster No. 12, Do Your Duty: Sit for the City — in a window facing the street.

A load chart showing output rising and holding within a bracketed, sealed time window.
Fig. 1 —Thursday's event, as recorded. The bracket is the district's signature.

Materials Referenced in This Bulletin

Poster No. 12 — Do Your Duty: Sit for the City

poster No. 12

Poster No. 12 — Do Your Duty: Sit for the City

Authorized archival reproduction of the recruitment original issued under the Residential Digestive Contribution Act. The pointing hand has been retouched for print stability; the expression has not. Suitable for ward offices, boarding houses, and factory canteens alike.

from $24.00Requisition →

A Demand Defecation event may be declared again without notice. When it is, the Office is confident you will answer, as you have answered, and as your certificate now says you did.