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Stall Notes

Out of Order Since the Previous Administration

A field guide to the disused restroom fixture, compiled by the Bureau's survey from the stalls, sinks, and dispensers most often found out of service.

A folklore-survey field-guide plate beneath the embossed seal of the Bureau of Renewable Discourse, a hand-lettered OUT OF ORDER card hanging from a stall latch above small engraved specimens of a plunger, a sink tap, and a soap dispenser, a banner reading DISUSED FIXTURES.

A field guide to the disused restroom fixture, compiled by the Bureau's survey. Five classes are recognized; representative specimens follow.

  • The idle stall. Out of order since the previous administration.
  • The absent plunger. Missing; no explanation was provided.
  • The two-temperature sink. It offers two temperatures: glacial and lawsuit.
  • The optimistic dispenser. The soap dispenser dispensed only optimism.
  • The forbidden stall. Every office restroom keeps one.